elan

The Essential Skill of Self-Leadership (WiT Regatta Summary)

elan Bailey — Fri, 29 Jan 2021 05:20:00 +0000

Thank you to last night’s wonderful WiT Regatta panel on How Do You Motivate Your Team? First, Lead Yourself!

Self-Leadership Mastery is a topic near and dear to my heart. 30 years ago when I was navigating my first really important corporate job, we were still in the era of top down outside in leadership. I didn’t feel like I could be my authentic self at work. At that time, I didn’t understand what self-leadership meant and I how could better use it to show up as my full authentic self. Being professional somehow became synonymous with leaving my heart and soul at the door.

I can still recall how I went from feeling passionate and purposeful in the first six months of that role to becoming more and more disengaged and disheartened over the next 18 months. Ending the disengagement cycle and helping people living into their highest and best expression at work is why I do what I do today. So it felt like a full circle moment to be talking with the WiT Regatta panel about the importance of self-awareness, authenticity, empathy, clear intention and fostering real connections and relationships in leading ourselves and others.

We also touched on the practice of self-leadership as a way of navigating the disappearing line between work and life, in an environment of social divisiveness and disinformation, while living with the strain, isolation and uncertainty of a pandemic.

Some of the practices that came to the top were spending time in nature, setting healthy boundaries (work in progress), speaking up for what’s needed, showing empathy for others and being intentional about checking in and nurturing your relationships in these challenging times.

One of my favourite questions of the night was, “Can there be such a thing as having too much empathy?” As the question came late in the conversation, we didn’t get deep into the discussion but this is a question that’s at the heart of authentic self-leadership.

I define authentic leadership as leading from the intersection of power, love and presence —the sweet spot between using:

your innate power and agency to direct your life and career with intention and purpose,
your drive for love and belonging to foster unity and connection and restore a sense of wholeness, and
your self-awareness to stay present to the greater possibility of life without armouring up or descending into hurt, resignation and cynicism.

This formulation of Authentic Leadership is based on the work of Theologian, Dr. Paul Tillich who defined:

Power as the drive of every living being to self-realize with increasing intensity and extensity, and
Love as the drive for unity and connection.

When power and love (masculine and feminine energies) are integrated and working together they are generative. But when we have power without love, or love without power it leads to personal, relational, institutional and societal breakdowns.

In the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who did his Ph.D. under Paul Tillich

“Power properly understood is nothing but the ability to achieve purpose. It is the strength required to bring about social, political, and economic change. . . . And one of the great problems of history is that the concepts of love and power have usually been contrasted as opposites—polar opposites—so that love is identified with the resignation of power, and power with the denial of love. Now we’ve got to get this thing right. What [we need to realize is] that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. . . . It is precisely this collision of immoral power with powerless morality which constitutes the major crisis of our time.”

So back to the question about “too much empathy,” there is an art to integrating our caring and nurturing tendencies with intention and purposeful practice. Sometimes the most empathetic thing we can do is to listen deeply for understanding and then remind someone of their innate power, wholeness and potential. And help them find their way back.

If you want additional support in developing your authentic self-leadership practice, you can grab my free guide on Owning It @ Work – The definitive guide to stepping into your authentic leadership, so you can make the impact and income you’re here to make and thrive in the process.

The Rise of Women in Thought Leadership (WiT Regatta Summary)

elan Bailey — Thu, 28 Jan 2021 05:27:00 +0000

On January 20, 2021, we watched 22 year old Amanda Gorman step onto the world stage and use the power of poetic expression to help us make sense of this moment and see the possibility of a future forward. That is the power of thought leadership in action.

Amanda expressed for me what is a welcome approach to thought leadership that is resonant, engaging and draws the listener forward into conversation and action. Well last night I had the pleasure of moderating a WiT Regatta panel conversation on the Rise of Women in Thought Leadership.

Here are my top five take-aways of how women view and practice thought leadership:

Being a thought leader is about valuing yourself, your experience, your knowledge and perspective and the unique way that you bring that expertise to light to elevate and amplify others.
Thought leadership is about listening and deeply empathizing with what is being said, or in some cases what is not being said but wants to be expressed. And then being able to build on, harmonize and synthesize those voices and views in a way that helps others deepen their understanding, gain clarity, make decisions and move forward.
Thought leadership is diverse – this isn’t about having the one right point of view or all the right answers. It’s about surfacing and incorporating diverse perspectives that can help us a create a more accurate map of the territory. It’s about noticing what voices and views are not represented at the table and finding a way to draw them in.
Thought leadership is collaborative – And I don’t mean just working together in a google doc or on a powerpoint. It’s about creating the space, conditions and opportunities for folks to come to the table with a growth mindset to grapple with, process, debate, explore and discover together. In some situations that might mean being the sounding board, support or editor for others to find and own their voice, clarify their message, practice a presentation, and be able to share it with clarity and confidence.
Thought leadership is not positional or role based – sometimes it’s being, perhaps the only person in the room with a dissenting perspective and stepping courageously forward to challenge the status quo and express your views.

Wherever you are on the path to establishing your thought leadership it helps to:

Surround yourself with great mentors (even informal or virtual mentors) who can provide insight, perspective, feedback, guidance and a listening ear.
Carve out spaces with your colleagues or in your network to have conversations on your passion topics. For our auditory processors, sometimes talking it out is where you discover gifts, wisdom and perspectives you didn’t know you had in you.
In those moments, when your inner critic, self-doubt or inadequacy might have you questioning yourself and your contributions, shift your focus from yourself to think about the impact that your expertise has or could have in that situation. Sometimes you just have to feel the fear and do it anyways.

If you want additional support, you can grab my free guide on Owning It @ Work – The definitive guide to break through impostor syndrome and step into your authentic leadership, so you can make the impact and income you’re here to make and thrive in the process.

Self-leadership and the Future of Work

elan Bailey — Wed, 18 Nov 2020 21:47:00 +0000

After decades of investment in emotional intelligence, communications and conflict training, unconscious bias training, performance incentives and people perks in the name of leadership development and culture building we haven’t had the breakthroughs we’d hoped for.

The retention, engagement and burnout data shows that something is eroding the happiness, health and high potential of your people and along with it your investments. But what, exactly? And what to do about it?

Deeper still, ideological division and conflict is more pervasive now. The many public uprisings over the last four years reflect our struggle with and in some cases complete inability to integrate, live and work effectively with those whose perspectives we don’t understand, share or care about.

So where and how to invest in the development of your people, leadership and culture? How can you generate the greatest impact and see the greatest return on your investment?

Many of the methods we’ve tried and the investments we’ve made, worthy as they were, have been like applying deluxe paint over those outdated, bright blue walls without using any primer. Or spending 80% of our home reno budget on fancy fixtures and furniture when our foundation is cracked and leaking.

Generating Greater Impact and Returns

In this article I share some of my assumptions and opinions about what it takes to create the greatest impact and return on investment in people and leadership development.

Assumption #1: Our leadership notions and approaches of the past have been insufficient for adapting to and thriving in the diversity, complexity and uncertainty of the world today. Without a hard pivot and change in how we develop leaders and leadership, they’ll be even less effective tomorrow.

Assumption #2: In the future of work, leadership is an essential skill for everyone. (Actually it always was). You may not be leading others, but knowing how to lead yourself in every aspect of your life, education and work is the foundation for everything else.

Assumption #3: Survival of the fittest will be replaced with “thrival of the fittest” — where “thrival” equals work that generates vitality and fittest defines those who have the ability and capacity to adapt, grow and lead with agility, vulnerability, vitality, empathy, and clarity (i.e. continually updating your map to match the territory).

Assumption #4: We are born with the capacity and ability for self-leadership. Although we’re not given much guidance on how to harness that ability throughout our formative years and education, it’s never too late.

Assumption #5: Self-leadership is the primer before the paint. Or the foundation before the fixtures and furniture. When we apply leadership strategies and tactics without first knowing ourselves as leaders, and how our way of being impacts everything we do, our efforts can be ineffective and even harmful.

Conversely, what we do as self-leaders has a knock on impact on others and the planet. When we step up as the author, director and lead actor of our own lives and co-creators with others, small shifts that we make in our way of being and relating have significant impact on the health, well-being and thrivability of our companies, our families, our communities and our planet.

In a future article and podcast series, I’ll share more on the three pillars of self-leadership. But for now I’ll offer this brief introduction:

Self-leadership Pillar #1 — Power: Operating with a sense of agency. Integrating our drive as individuals to self-realize with full responsibility for creating and leading, despite setbacks and circumstances.

Self-leadership Pillar #2 — Purpose: Having an appreciation for and connection to something greater than ourselves. Operating with a sense of gratitude for what is, empathy for what others experience, and full accountability for what we create and the impact we have.

Self-leadership Pillar #3 — Presence: The ability and capacity to suspend our fixed and often limiting scripts and show up fully present and practiced, ready to co-create with a range of diverse people, perspectives and possibilities.

These three pillars when developed together help us become adaptable and integrative leaders who create teams and cultures where people thrive. And they can exponentially increase your return on investment in leadership development.

What impact would it have on your culture, your business, your customer relationships and your bottom line, if everyone in your organization was operating from a foundation of self-leadership and thriving at work?

elan Bailey is a transformational leadership coach and organization development consultant. And the founder of UpLevel Leadership Academy an experiential leadership development community offering coach-designed and led programs, resources and support to help individuals and organizations adapt, integrate and thrive at work.

How to Live Diversity, Equity and Inclusion

elan Bailey — Mon, 19 Oct 2020 21:55:00 +0000

From Espoused Values to Embodied Culture

When you’re operating inside of a competitive worldview and you create strategic initiatives to elevate the historically marginalized and eradicate inequality, you can expect backlash from those who have the most to gain by maintaining power over others. It’s an inevitable part of game theory. “Predators” don’t like to lose and don’t play fair.

So I’m shocked but not surprised by Trump’s latest executive order putting the kibosh on diversity training in the US. There are always going to be people who deny the imbalances of power so that they can continue to profit from them.

But Trump’s executive order aside, when I hear that some companies have been working on DEI initiatives for over 30 years and then I see stats like those found in this 2019 McKinsey & Company survey, it makes me wonder where the disconnect is.

It bears note that I am not a DEI expert. There are plenty of great people out there doing incredible work in this space. What I’m focused on is what it takes to create leadership and organizational systems that truly enable people of all genders, ethnicities, orientations and abilities to adapt and thrive at work.

When we look to other complex adaptive systems as models, we see that:

Healthy organisms can and do operate sustainably within their ecosystems.
Ecosystems adapt and thrive through biodiversity, and
Monocultures breed degradation and entropy.

As with other complex adaptive systems, the individual actors, environment and the organization all play a role in our collective outcomes. Let’s look at the influences of each on our current state of affairs.

As individual actors,

Women still play a majority role in caring for the kids, the household and in some cases our aging parents. The gender imbalance in our households has been made increasingly clear through the pandemic.
Unlike our male counter-parts, women often let self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy take us out before even entering the room or attempting to sit at the table. And even when we’ve earned our seat, we frequently let our inner critic and fear diminish our contributions.
People who are under-represented in a culture often find it more challenging to experience belonging and success or show up authentically for fear of being singled out, rejected, ostracized or too visible.

I think it’s critically important to work with women and people of colour (and I do) to validate these personal experiences and provide coaching, community, sponsorship and one-on-one support to elevate them and their leadership.

On the other hand, our environments play a role as well.

The rules of engagement for the systems we work in have mostly been designed by and for the preferences and aptitudes of cisgender white males.
Women and people of colour have historically had fewer opportunities and less financial access to higher education. And in many cases that education has been incongruent with our history, our worldview and/or the future we want to create.
And even when the under-represented step into leadership roles, we’ve been culturally conditioned to maintain the status quo and perpetuate the systems that favor the preferences, aptitudes and abilities of the prevailing power brokers.

So here’s where we get to the deep tissue work in our organizations. Whatever the current state of diversity in your ecosystem it represents an alignment or misalignment between the hand, head, heart and soul of your organization.

Where hand represents your tactical efforts and actions
Head represents your assumptions, policies, plans and perspectives
Heart is your motivations and values and how that shows up in your ability to sense, empathize with and respond to the needs of your stakeholders, and
Soul is your culture and mindset as represented by the lived vision and values of your leaders and employees in action.

If you’re putting in a lot of effort and resources into your DEI strategy and not getting the results you expect, it’s usually because of some incongruence between your collective mindset, motivations and actions. These show up as competing and often unconscious commitments that have not been adequately expressed or addressed.

So how do you address the inequality and imbalances in your organization without creating new imbalances and maladaptive symptoms going forward?

Here are some questions you can use to go beyond strategy to creating coherent conditions and diverse environments where anyone can adapt and thrive

Head

Do our plans adequately represent and address the perspectives and values of stakeholders across the ecosystem?

The ones we serve
The ones we source from, and
The ones we impact

Which stakeholders and/or stakeholder perspectives have we included in our planning, and which have we ignored or excluded?

If we have not included diverse stakeholders and perspectives, what assumptions, concerns or fears do we have about including them?

Despite our best intentions, what assumptions, concerns or fears do we have about following through on these initiatives?

Heart

What are our motivations?

appearing to do good?
being seen as a thought leader in our space?
maintaining access to a certain demographic in our workforce?
protecting profits and investments from consumer backlash?
outshining our competitors in the talent game?
developing adaptive leaders, culture and organization?

For many leaders and organizations, it’s some combination of these and other unspoken motivations. As Daniel Schmachtenberger reminds us we often have at least a dozen motivations, only half of which we’re aware of and only one or two that are expressly stated.

What are people experiencing at work? How are they interpreting their experiences?
Are people adapting and thriving under our leadership, or are they just surviving?
What efforts have we made to fully understand how our current culture impacts our people?
What is being said when leadership is not in the room? And what are the barriers to people speaking honestly and openly when leaders are in the room?
Where is our culture holding us back, or incongruent with our stated vision, values and strategy?

Soul

What are the quality of conversations happening in the organization?
Who is invited into these conversations?
Where and when are these conversations happening? Have we intentionally created accessible space to cultivate healthy conversations?
How are we as leaders showing up in the organization and in the marketplace?
Who are we being in times of challenge and increasing complexity?
Who will we need to become as leaders in order to effectively live our values?
What are the values that drive the organization as experienced by our employees, customers , vendors and silent stakeholders?
How does our organization show up in the marketplace?
What impact are our actions and inactions having on people, communities and the planet?

Perhaps it’s time to go beyond diversity, equity and inclusion as a strategy and explore what new levels of synergy, emergence and advantage become available to us when we embody cultures where people of any race, gender, ability, and orientation can and do adapt and thrive.

How to Lead in A Complex World without Losing Yourself

elan Bailey — Sat, 19 Sep 2020 05:09:00 +0000

2020 has hit like a tsunami.

Before the pandemic, social uprising, political divisiveness and climate change impacts of this year, we were already dealing with how to:

lead our lives, work and organizations with purpose, but no playbook for guaranteed success,
struggling to adapt and grow as we go, while leading ourselves and others,
in an ever-changing and often hostile environment, without losing our authentic selves.

Whether you lead yourself, a household, team or organization, you were already swimming in a sea of complexity. But 2020 has brought unrelenting waves of it.

The official term is VUCA — which stands for volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity. In this age of advanced technology and rapid change, we’re living and leading in complexity all the time. And depending on your race, gender, age, physical or neural ability or sexual orientation, you could be facing greater levels of it with far less support.

If you’re standing by waiting for the day when things go back to normal and life feels more certain you might be waiting for a long time.

I see 2020 as the great wake-up call. As leaders, we are being called to adapt, grow and lead at the speed and complexity of life.

But trying to do so without adequate support and development can:

Limit our ability as individuals to:

show up and lead as our authentic and best selves,
create and maintain healthy relationships with ourselves and each other,
sustain high levels of performance and productivity without expensive or damaging consequences in other areas of our lives, and
adapt to unforeseen circumstances and setbacks or seize new opportunities.

2. Limit our ability as organizations to:

attract, engage and keep diverse talent,
develop sustainable cultures, systems and practices that honour the values, strengths and worth of people — as people not just economic inputs,
sustain optimal economic performance without irreparable damage to our people and the planet, and
adapt to unforeseen circumstances and setbacks and create new opportunities

3. Inadvertently do more damage than good, causing a new waves of complexity down the line.

As the Boeing 737 Max investigation and the Social Dilemma documentary demonstrate, when we as leaders and organizations embrace parts of our humanness, but not the whole human being, or serve some, but not all of our stakeholders, in the pursuit of economic interests, it can be limiting to our humanity at best and outright deadly at worst.

Given the state of the world as it is, where do we go from here?

The world needs adaptive, integrative and co-creative leaders now more than ever.

Even before I made leadership coaching and organization development my business, my focus and energy has been on 1. challenging and supporting people to show up as their best authentic selves within organizations and 2. challenging and supporting people to design organizational culture, systems, and processes to better fit the people they’re here to serve (inside and outside their walls).

This is my purpose on the planet. And I’m unapologetic about it.

It recently occurred to me though, that like a person who unwittingly tries to get all of their needs met by their significant other, maybe we’ve been trying to meet all of our needs in the workplace, when what we really need and want is community.

Enter UpLevel Leadership Academy.

UpLevel is an online leadership development community of practice that helps leader-practitioners at all stages adapt, grow and lead without losing your authentic self in a volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) world.

UpLevel Academy was born from my guiding purpose and personal experiences. As a black woman, single parent, entrepreneur and leader in male-dominated systems for over 25 years, I learned the hard way how to navigate at the intersection of age, gender, race.

In the process, I experienced and overcame gaps in my capacity to adapt, grow and lead, without losing my authentic self. Despite facing setbacks, circumstances, unconscious bias and discriminatory systems.

Always looking for ways to turn challenges into growth opportunities and help others do the same, I founded the UpLevel Leadership Academy as an online dojo of sorts for leader-practitioners at all levels.

UpLevel brings together diverse thought leaders, facilitators and coaches, holistic programming, a dialogic facilitation and coaching approach and an experiential community to challenge and support you as you adapt and grow your leadership in your life, work and the world. UpLevel provides:

Leadership development programs that:

Support your whole being (body, mind, heart and soul) and your whole life (not just the part that happens between 9 and 5)
Challenge your thinking and perspectives beyond your comfort zone
Connect you with a diverse network of other leader-practitioners
Honour the experiences, innate wisdom and authentic power of the leader-practitioner you already are, and
Expand your leadership to not just survive a VUCA world but adapt and thrive in one.

A community of practice that challenges and supports your growth over time with real-world application and accountability.

Community engagement activities, events and curated resources that develop you as a leader in mindful and holistic ways (think Karate Kid, Wax On, Wax Off).

A cost-effective approach to leadership development to suit individual and corporate budgets.

An appreciative rather than problem-centric environment free from advertising algorithms, where we accept, appreciate and celebrate your values, strengths and unique perspectives and address challenges and complexity with curiosity, creativity and respect for each human being.

Join me on Thursday, Sept 24th at 12:30 pm Pacific time for a community conversation (free event) on how to reclaim your authentic self through the complexity you face today, and lead the change you want to see in the world tomorrow.

Are we feeling more connected or divided?

elan Bailey — Fri, 17 Jul 2020 22:20:00 +0000

As a 50 year black woman, single mother, entrepreneur and leader who has worked in predominantly male industries for the last 25 years, I could walk around being offended every day, all day. But I don’t.

I’ve been quietly watching as we flood our social, emotional and physical spaces with an ever-growing set of rules for how to be together as human beings, and I’m left with the experience in many ways of feeling more separate and alone than I ever did before.

Losing the ability to hug in an effort to save lives is one thing. But having to do an extensive google search on the latest terms and symbols, what they mean and who they may or may not offend by there use, can take a toll on my ability to live a heart-centered existence.

So my apologies if I’ve offended you. It’s not from laziness or lack of caring about you or what matters to you.

I stand in my desire to live a heart-centered life and to see you as the magnificent being that you are, even though I’ve been conditioned to see you as either a threat or opportunity as it relates to my own self-interest.

Like me, you are someone who has the right to self-realize and to experience love, unity and connection just by nature of being born (not because you’ve earned it, had to protest for it and demand it, or because a member of your family, community or people had to die for it).

As well, you’ve had experiences that I have not, and you have a way of interpreting your experiences that I do not. I’m curious about you. I’m willing to listen with you, to learn from you and to share my story if you’re willing to listen too.

But I’m watching as so many good people give away their power, energy and love in the minutiae of second-guessing and double-checking every word they say or write.

There is so much judgment and criticism to go around; so much emphasis on having to get it right, that many good people who were already a part of the solution are sitting on the sidelines in fear that they will inadvertently be seen as part of the problem. I have to wonder, what the long term impact will be.

During the #metoo movement, I watched many of the amazing heart-centered men that I worked with at the time start to get smaller and more self-conscious so as not to offend. And I’m watching it play out again now.

I agree we’re not so great at loving and relating to ourselves and each other. But that tendency extends far beyond race. I wonder if we’ve gone too far down the rabbit hole of judging and chastising each other.

My reality check is always, How does it makes us feel as humans, a community, a society? How does it impact the way we relate to ourselves and each other?

Do you feel more authentic, connected, powerful and loving? Or do you feel smaller, more self-conscious and separate, or more angry, afraid or exhausted?

Before we rush to judge each other, to accuse and assume, can we take the time and create the spaces to get to know each other’s intentions and values? Can we start by assuming positive intent, and if someone has really stepped in it have the courage to call them out with respect and grace, in the same way you would want to receive that feedback?

For the record, there are a lot of things I am opposed to, but I’m not interested in being anti-anything. The mind responds to the clear pictures we create in our imagination. For example, what happens, if I tell you not to think of a pink elephant?

What is the picture that you create in your mind, when you hear the word anti-racist? Does it give you an indicator of how to be a more loving human being, and to live in a way that doesn’t just take care of your own self-interest but also honors and respects all life on the planet?

Tell me, better yet, show me who you are and what you stand for. If you’ve been walking around unconscious and are just now waking up, I’ll give you the grace to know that it’s not always going to come out right. You’re going to make mistakes, you’re going to fail.

In the effort to fight for the rights and equality of my people, I may have given you the impression that I have a right to be righteous in pointing out the error of your ways. But I’m human just like you. I make mistakes all the time. I’m perfectly imperfect.

Failing is that part of our human experience that we don’t give enough space for or credit to. It’s not an excuse for continuing in our self-centered, unconscious march through life. But we can’t let it stop us from taking action.

More than anything I want to live in harmony with you my fellow being. I don’t have perfect answers for how to navigate this movement in a way that helps us feel more alive, powerful, loving, authentic, equal and connected. But I’m willing to learn and fail with you. Will you join me?

Feeling as a Gateway to Healing

elan Bailey — Thu, 25 Jun 2020 21:48:00 +0000

“A North Carolina police officer has been fired after being caught on camera saying he “can’t wait” to slaughter Black people and that a civil war was needed to wipe them out.”

https://www.newsweek.com/three-officers-fired-racist-comments-1513286

I thought twice about sharing this article. I don’t want to be a spreader of hate. I tried to suppress it, along with my deep deep grief.

But after about five hours of holding it in, the dam broke. All of the feelings enveloped me. And I allowed myself to cry, gasp, scream and cry some more.

In the process I realized I was feeling embarrassed and ashamed, as if somehow I did something wrong or bad to deserve this kind of hate.

I wonder if this is how a person feels when they’ve been living in an abusive relationship for a long time and the truth comes out publicly?

I’m so glad I didn’t stay there for long; personalizing this hate as if it means something about me. Instead of trying to suppress it, what I needed was to fully express it.

Just as my grief bubbled up and over, I had to jump on zoom with one of my mentors for a previously scheduled meeting.

Fortunately this was someone who has earned the right to my hear my story. So rather than rescheduling, I showed up and let it out. We spent the first half hour sobbing and screaming our frustrations together.

For those who think people are crazy for wanting deep police reform, I hope you’ll take a few minutes to read the article. And just feel what it must be like to be thought of this way because of the colour of your skin.

I know this doesn’t represent all cops. But how the f*ck do we give someone like this a gun, a badge and authority over the life and freedom of others?

If you’re silently carrying this grief, I hope you have someone you can sob, scream and gasp with. And if you think you need to hide your grief, your shame, your despair from the world, I can’t tell you what a gift it was to be witnessed in my pain.

Who is the person or people in your life that you trust with your pain, your grief, your despair? People that Brene Brown would say have earned the right to hear your story.

I hope you’ll let yourself be seen, heard and known. As even rushing to find solutions too soon can be a way of checking out of the pain and discomfort.

Most of us aren’t raised to be comfortable with facing into the shadow of our humanity. But I don’t think we can truly heal until we can deeply feel.

Summon Your Authentic Power, First

elan Bailey — Fri, 12 Jun 2020 21:53:00 +0000

For those of you feeling powerless and frustrated or anxiously wondering what you can do to be a part of the solution, my request is that you go inward first.

Authentic leadership is not for the faint of heart. It’s not for those who are more worried about social status and the appearance of doing something right or avoiding doing something wrong,

To be effective in this movement and not lose yourself in the process, you need to know the authentic unshakeable loving power at your core. Without that connection to your core, you’ll second guess yourself, be ineffective at change, show up as an inauthentic actor or actually do harm.

Why? because we all have an immunity to change; survival wiring that is designed to keep us safe and close to our comfort zone. Change of this magnitude will require you to go beyond your survival instincts. It will require you to summon your authentic power and take action in the face of consequences and circumstances beyond your control.

If it wasn’t for the will and courage of Darnella Frazier none of this would be happening right now. If you don’t know, Darnella Frazier is the 17 year old young woman who defied George Floyd’s murderers to film his death.

Maybe she thought that by holding that camera up and pleading with the officers that she could save George’s life. They ignored her words and tried to intimidate her into shuttering her lens.

But Darnella summoned her authentic power, holding her ground and her camera and in the process ignited a revolution. She will live with the memory and trauma of that for the rest of her life. And I don’t wish that on anybody. But she didn’t back down.

Equally so, if it wasn’t for Tarana Burke, and the many women who summoned their courage alongside her to say metoo, many of the Hollywood elite and the countless other men–who relied on their social power and the silence of the impacted, the enablers and the bystanders–would still be free to dominate and victimize their way through life.

What you’re seeing is the ripping up of social agreements and the dismantling of institutions designed to serve some of the people all the time, while leaving others out. It’s time to create new agreements that shape a world that works for everyone.

To hold your seat at the table, you’ll need to be(come) the more authentic version of yourself. The good news is you’re already an authentic leader at your core, but you’ll need to chip away at the layers of the social agreements that cover it up.

So if you’re wondering what you can do, or what it takes to be an authentic or even transformational leader in your family, your community, your organization or across the world, it takes presence, power, love and purpose.

What I’ve learned is that the times when I really suffer and/or cause suffering in my life, are the times when:

I’m operating from the chains of the past or fear of the future and no longer present in this moment
I give my power away to someone else for personal gain and lose myself in the process
I disconnect from my humanity and my deep desire for unity and connection
I dishonor my life purpose by silencing myself or not taking action

No regrets though. Sure, I learned the hard way. But I wouldn’t be who I am today without the experiences I’ve had. Everything that I am and everything that I’ve experienced led me to the study of human development and transformational leadership and has prepared me for this moment.

I stand unmessable-with in the face of coronavirus, career transition, and the cancer that is racism pervading the cells of our global body, all against the backdrop of raising my biracial son in a world that no longer seems to make sense by old definitions. Sometimes you just have to bring it down to the studs and rebuild.

So when you ask what you can do or what more you can do… Stand up and be(come) the Authentic Leader you are.

Be Present: Wake up and be present and grateful for all that you have. For those who live with white privilege, I’m not asking you to feel ashamed of it. I’m sure most days it doesn’t feel like privilege. You’re out there working hard for what you have. But recognize that you do have unique access to opportunities that others do not or have to work much harder to get. Your privilege is unique to you. So what is it that you can uniquely bring to others through this one life experience?

Use Your Authentic Power: There are two streams of power: social power, which requires agreements, structures and external validation to be held in place and authentic power, which is intrinsic. Go beyond your social power to connect to your authentic power. How well does your life and your leadership express and honor that power today?

Let Your Purpose Guide You: Use your life and your gifts for something meaningful. Stop living from the scarcity and survival mindset that devalues the precious moments and diminishes yourself and others just so you can acquire yet another trinket.

Whatever you’re feeling, now is the time to clear out the cobwebs of complacency, connect to your authentic power and channel that energy into action!

Possible Actions

You can support members of your community who have less than you or are struggling with the many upheavals that 2020 has brought. You can contribute to the GoFundMe for Darnella. Or you can take action by donating to or volunteering with the not-for-profits that can make a difference in your community.

Shore up Your Leadership: If you’re committed to developing your Authentic Leadership and would like support or a place to start, you can direct message me, visit https://bookme.name/elanbailey to book a one-on-one or learn more about my upcoming programs at https://uplevelmyleadership.com.

Finally, I’ll leave with you excerpts from the two of the leaders that have inspired my action:

Maya Angelou – Still I Rise

[…] Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain

I rise

I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise.

You can read the full poem here

Dr. Martin Luther King on Power and Love

“Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.

A Head and Heart Approach to Navigating a Downturn

elan Bailey — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 22:04:00 +0000

Entrepreneurship is emotional.

One day you’re feeling on top of the world, bringing your craft and creativity to market.

The next month, week, day, minute, you’re down, wondering what you were thinking when you decided to be 100% responsible for your own and other people’s happiness.

As entrepreneurs, the emotional roller coaster is our day to day reality.

Most of us don’t even recognize we’re on it until someone like a business partner, coach, mentor or spouse points it out.

As such, I’ve met many entrepreneurs who make emotional decisions about how to run their business.

In a time of high uncertainty and economic contraction, emotions can help you get clear on what you care about and summon the drive and resilience you need to navigate through.

Maintaining a sense of love, connection and belonging is critical in times of uncertainty and fear.

But when it comes to making business decisions, you want to rely on data rather than pure emotion.

This is where savvy business owners make key decisions that not only help them survive a slow down but thrive beyond it.

This month, my colleagues and I at Cultivate Advisors will be leading a workshop on taking a head and heart approach to navigating a downturn.

We’ll explore:

The financial models you need to understand your current and future position and make critical decisions
The key metrics you need to be paying attention to and how often
How you can drive additional revenue or remove revenue barriers
What you can do to bring more operational efficiency and help reduce costs if your market is leaning out
How to lean into community and connection to not just survive but thrive in uncertain economic times.

We’re still working out the workshop details but DM if you’re interested.

Is Scarcity Thinking Driving Your Entrepreneurial Dreams Into A Ditch?

elan Bailey — Fri, 21 Feb 2020 22:33:00 +0000

You’ve heard the saying, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” How does this apply in running your business?

No matter how vast the opportunity around you, if you see the world as hostile, your background conversations centre on scarcity and separateness and how to survive being a victim or overcome it. In the process your decisions and actions are guided by a hidden agenda to play it small and safe or manipulate and dominate your way forward.

If you see the world as friendly, you see a world of possibility around you. Your background conversations centre on freedom and opportunity, and how to use your resources and talents to create and innovate while developing deeper connections and integration with the world around you.

For entrepreneurs that’s often how we start our businesses. We focus on our opportunities for leadership and self-determination. We see a gap in the market that aligns with our passion and competence. Despite the fear, self-doubt and risk, we take a leap. We move through our scarcity thinking and take action.

But it’s not long before the old filters kick in, and we find ourselves in the passenger seat with scarcity at the wheel about to drive our dreams into a ditch.

Mindset directly impacts how we lead ourselves, others and our business. In this Co-Creative Leadership series, I’ll do a deep dive on how shifting from a scarcity mindset to a co-creative mindset can impact our leadership effectiveness and outcomes.

Leading Yourself (From a Scarcity Mindset to a Co-Creative Mindset)

Impostor syndrome is a background conversation that has become a foreground conversation of late. But it’s interesting to me that it’s often characterized as something only women experience. I disagree. Having coached people of all genders at different stages of their careers or business, this is something that most people feel from time to time.

The difference between you and someone you see as more successful than you, is that they’ve disciplined themselves to take action in alignment with their greater commitment, regardless of what they’re feeling. And they surround themselves with people who hold them bigger and accountable to their commitments.

This is the essence of a co-creative mindset and leadership — being able to align our actions with our commitments, which are stable and future-based rather than our feelings and thoughts, which are fleeting and past-based.

Here are some healthy habits to focus on in developing a co-creative mindset:

Purpose — What is your why for running your business? Strategies and tactics will change over time but purpose is enduring. If you don’t know your purpose, or haven’t connected to it in a while you can use an Ikigai exercise to get to the source.

Ikigai is the intersection of what you love to do, what you’re good at, what the world needs and is willing to pay for.

Commitments — What is your greater commitment for your business? For most people, it’s not enough to say you want to make a certain amount of money. Your commitment should be bigger than you, and include the people and things you care most about. Think your family, your team, your clients, your community and your planet.

Morning intention — Start your day with intentionality. What are you out to accomplish or contribute today in line with your greater commitment? Have your intention rather than your reaction to email, news or social media be at the forefront of how you start your day.

Acceptance — This is a big one. The results you’re getting or the challenges you’re facing are just feedback — data points that you can use to adjust and align. Many of us waste a ton of mental energy, fighting against what is instead of accepting it. This is where I used to get tripped up, confusing acceptance with agreement.

Accepting what is doesn’t mean you agree with it. It means you are standing in your full power and poised to renegotiate or take effective action on something that isn’t working for you. Mental resistance, is an indicator that you’re not connected to your power and/or you’re not connected to others around you. Restore power and connection by:

reconnecting to your purpose and commitment
accepting what is and taking responsibility for it
surfacing your intention and gratitude and
taking action in line with your commitment.

Gratitude — I like to make gratitude my go to for life. When I’m going through a rough patch or not seeing the results I want, I use gratitude as an immediate way to shift my perspective. It costs me nothing and profits me everything.

While you’re developing muscle in this area, at the very least, end your day with gratitude. Ask yourself, “What about your current role, business, challenges and opportunities, your health, your team, your family, your community and being alive at this moment in time — are you grateful for?”

Self Care — Are you getting exercise? When you stop working are you able to relax, unwind and make time for yourself and your loved ones? Are you able to be fully present with them without worrying about your work, your business or the 10,000 things on your to do list?

When we operate with a scarcity or survival mindset, it limits our potential and our connection with others and can lead to burnout or breakdown. When we operate from a co-creative mindset, it becomes the foundation for our greater fulfillment, contribution and connection with the world around us.

In Part 2 and 3, I’ll explore how a limiting mindset impacts your effectiveness in leading others and running a business and what you can do about it.

___________

elan Bailey helps entrepreneurs grow and scale by aligning your mindset and actions, values and habits with your culture, systems and strategy to create high-performing teams and an advantage in the market that can’t easily be replicated.

As an objective third party she challenges and supports you in developing your personal mastery and leadership by helping you see your blind spots and gaps and provide a reality check for those areas where you’re downplaying your potential based on untested assumptions. Ask me about how shifting mindset can help grow your business.